Realm of Shadows Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by ThunderKnight Entertainment
Directed by Jimmy Drain
Written by Robert Bieber, Jimmy Drain, and Lewis Leslie
2024, 85 minutes, Not Rated
Released in May 2024
Starring:
Tony Todd as Fr. Dudley
Vernon Wells as Cypress
Jimmy Drain as Robby
Richard Tyson as Hugo
Vida Ghaffari as Cassandra
Harley Wallen as Aspect
Lauren C. Mayhew as Ashley
Mel Novak as Bishop Lucian
Luba Bocian as Starr
Review:
Ah, the anthology. I can’t get enough of them. Though I must say, I’ve never seen one quite as scattershot (while also being hypnotically watchable) as Realm of Shadows. It’s a wild and experimental ride that toys with a slew of different filmmaking techniques and styles, from romance to possession horror to silent film aesthetics. Yeah, it’s like that.
The wraparound follows a coven of witches doing battle with a couple of priests for possession of the Dagger of Destiny, which happens to be the blade from the spear that pierced Christ’s side. Pretty heady stuff. The sexy, badass witches and the wizened priests trade spells and incantations that become stories that often center on relationships, which is an interesting direction to go in a horror anthology that features the likes of Tony Todd (Candyman, Final Destination) and Vernon Wells (Commando).
The segment breakdown is as follows:
“Mallick’s Dreamlady”: A not-too-smooth man named Mallick (director Jimmy Drain) snags the girl of his dreams with the help of a Faustian bartender who requires a lock of the young lady’s hair to make her fall madly in love.
“Hike”: The same character returns for the next segment, which sees his girlfriend leave him after he waits too long to pop the question. After losing the girl, he loses his mind.
“Abashed”: A couple suffers a nasty breakup.
“The Initiation of Professor Kimmer”: A college professor (again played by Drain) is blackmailed by an attractive and evil student into giving him not only an A in the class but also some sweet lovemaking. She may also want his blood and soul.
“Cadaver”: A young dancer desperately wants to be trained by a master dancer named Beedham, but everything comes with a price…and witchcraft may be the only way to pay.
“Meet Michael”: Little Gaylen is afraid of that old standby, the Boogeyman. So what do her parents do? Hire an exorcist, of course! What could possibly go wrong?
“Fate Upside Down”: It’s time for the priests and the witches to duke it out for the dagger, so naturally this is where Tony Todd makes his appearance (as do all the other notable names). It’s a fight to the finish, as they say.
The segments are fairly uneven in terms of comparative quality, with the wraparound (of course) and “The Initiation of Professor Kimmer” being the real standouts. But every segment brings something different to the table in a stew of styles and aesthetics. There’s a wildly mesmerizing dance number and the aforementioned silent film stylings. In short, there’s a little something for everyone!
Realm of Shadows is hard to follow coherently at some points, but you’ll never be bored or tuned out. There’s a ton of heart on display, and everyone chews up their parts with a voracious appetite and some real panache. Writer/director Jimmy Drain in particular gives it everything he has and then some, and I can’t wait to see what he could do with a bigger budget. It’s experimental and exploitative in equal measure, and as long as you’re swinging for those fences, you’ll have no trouble finding an audience to appreciate your efforts.
Grade:
3.0 out of 5.0 stars
]]>The Watchers Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by New Line Cinema
Written and Directed by Ishana Night Shyamalan from an A.M. Shine novel
2024, 102 minutes, Rated PG-13
Released on June 7th, 2024
Starring:
Dakota Fanning as Mina
Olwen Fouéré as Madeline
Georgina Campbell as Ciara
Oliver Finnegan as Daniel
Alistair Brammer as John
John Lynch as Professor Kilmartin
Review:
It’s “Shyamalan time” again, folks, but this time we are taking a trip with Ishana Night Shyamalan, the daughter of divisive (and inarguably talented) filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense, Signs). She’s making her directorial debut with The Watchers, a tale of four strangers trapped in a display house of sorts in the middle of an ancient Irish forest who are essentially reality television for mysterious and deadly forest creatures. It’s a premise rife with possibilities and begging for an explanation.
Also, let’s go ahead and get it out of the way: it’s not at all fair to critique this generation of Shyamalan under the harsh microscopic glare given to her dear old dad (who serves as executive producer), but the influence in style and substance (both positive and negative) is just so glaring that it simply must be said, if only once.
Mina (Dakota Fanning; War of the Worlds) is a tortured woman living in Ireland to escape the ghosts of her past, specifically her mother’s death and her part in it. By day she toils away in a small pet shop; by night she hits the town pretending to be anyone but herself. It’s an aimless existence until she is asked to transport a rare parakeet across the Irish countryside to a zoo. When her car suddenly and mysteriously breaks down in the middle of a dense, old forest, she quickly becomes lost and is saved by a woman named Madeline (Olwen Fouéré; Mandy). Ushered into a stone domicile where one side is two-way glass, Mina meets Ciara (Georgina Campbell; Barbarian) and Daniel (Oliver Finnegan; Outlander). All three of her cellmates, so to speak, have been living in the house for months. During the day, they are free to roam the forest and hunt for food. When night falls, they must lock themselves inside and perform for the Watchers, an unseen race of deadly forest creatures who see them as a prime form of entertainment. There are some rules to follow, and breaking them can result in deadly consequences. Unfortunately for Madeline, Ciara, and Daniel, Mina isn’t great at following the rules.
The Watchers spends the first half of the film operating as a four-person set piece, feeding you hints and little bits of information that only deepen the mystery of what the Watchers are. It’s effective and entrancing. Once another layer is added to the mystery, however, the doors are blown off and the mythology is exposited in often clunky chunks. Up until this point, the script is tightly written and fairly tense. You would think expanding the tale would be exactly what is needed.
The biggest issue is characterization. There’s plenty of it for Mina, and Dakota Fanning turns in one hell of a performance as the aloof and frustratingly obtuse Mina. There are some layers there. However, the rest of the slim cast are essentially caricatures with no real depth. This shallowness turns the tale into a monster story, and while the mythology is pretty cool, it’s not menacing enough to be truly scary or fully realized enough to be all that impactful. The result is middle-of-the-road fantasy fare that started off feeling very horror before taking something of a left turn.
Still, Shyamalan does have the family flare for incorporating a solid twist in a third-act banger, and she does this with aplomb. It’s one of those things that you really should have seen coming, but the execution and overall uncertainty of just what the hell is going on is more than effective enough to hide the obvious. It’s a damn fine reveal, all in all. The third act does finish on a high note, even if it does stumble a bit in overexplaining the finer points of the mythology of the Watchers themselves.
Overall, The Watchers is a solid debut that manages to overcome some uneven exposition and paper-thin characterization with a strong premise, deeply mysterious and evocative atmosphere, and a first-rate performance from Dakota Fanning. Venturing into the world of the Irish fairy tale is a bold choice for an opening statement as a filmmaker, and I’m intensely curious to see where Ishana Night Shyamalan goes from here as she steps out from under that looming shadow.
Grade:
3.0 out of 5.0 stars
]]>What Hides in the Cupboards Book Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Published by Unnerving Books
Written by Cassondra Windwalker
2024, 196 pages, Fiction
Published on January 30th, 2024
Review:
Call me a sucker for anything that presents itself as modern gothic horror. Go ahead. It’s true, after all. Present me a bleak and rundown locale in a beautiful setting, a mysterious spiritual presence with questionable motives, someone questioning their sanity, and serious emotional intensity and I’ll jump in with both feet. It’s just how I’m built, I guess.
Cassondra Windwalker sets her modern gothic in the desert outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico, and that pulled me in as well- I lived in Albuquerque for seven and a half damn fine years in my teens and twenties. I’ve spent my fair share of time in Santa Fe (the two cities are less than an hour apart), and you couldn’t ask for a finer setting. All the elements were in place for me, so I dove right into What Hides in the Cupboards.
Hesper Dunn is a ceramic artist who has recently suffered a great tragedy in her life. Along with her husband, Richard, she leaves Chicago for the desert beauty of central New Mexico to heal and inspire new art. She buys a stripped-down hacienda far removed from nosy neighbors and prying eyes. The home formerly belonged to a well-known artist who met a tragic end and died in the house. Upon moving in, Hesper discovers a series of paintings of a young boy on the inside of all her cabinets. The work is stunning, and the mystery behind the works of art is utterly irresistible. However, she’s soon beset by the “shadow boy”, a malevolent spirit hellbent on destroying both her work and her sanity. He’s not the only spirit in the house, though- the previous owner has something to say as well. Who is the boy in the paintings? Who is the malicious shadow boy? Are they one and the same? More importantly, can Hesper do anything to set either of them free? And what of the power that gathers in the desert and surrounds her new home?
Hesper is a striking protagonist, the very soul of the tortured artist. She’s richly layered with a backstory that’s metered out in well-timed increments. What Hides in the Cupboards is an extremely patient tale that takes its time weaving together multiple mysteries with the underlying theme of buried trauma. The question of what happened to Hesper and Richard is a ball of yarn to be unwound with delicious slowness. Then there’s the matter of Hesper’s questionable sanity. Is she imagining the ghostly happenings in her new home? Can she overcome her agoraphobia and live a normal life? And, oh yeah…just what in the hell does the shadow boy want with her?
Admittedly, I did come to one of the big reveals ahead of schedule, but that’s okay because it was the right call for a modern gothic. All those wonderful gothic trappings, wrapped in that beautiful New Mexico backdrop, give you a real sense of place and enrich the ominous nature of Hesper’s situation. Smartly written with a love of the genre, What Hides in the Cupboards dots all the i’s and crosses all the t’s for what a modern gothic horror story should be: atmospheric and emotionally intense with a deeper mystery that draws you in page by page. Windwalker’s patience and restraint serve the story well, allowing you time to get into Hesper’s head.
If you’re looking for a read that’s fast-paced and gory, look elsewhere. The intensity of Hesper’s plight is something much more refined and classic. There are twists and turns to be sure, but this isn’t one of those books that overwhelm by trying to be too clever or shocking. It’s true gothic horror that lives up to the billing, and I couldn’t be more pleased with that. What Hides in the Cupboards is a book written from the perspective of the tortured artist who isn’t even able to face her own demons (let alone those that may live in the desert beyond her doors), and it’s effective enough that I feel as if I may need to check up on Cassondra Windwalker herself and make sure that’s she’s okay. “Sometimes what we choose to hate is stronger than all the love in the world…”, she says.
Seems she may need some help fighting her demons, too.
]]>The Gathering Book Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Published by Penguin Random House UK
Written by C.J. Tudor
2024, 352 pages, Fiction
Published on April 11th, 2024
Review:
The first time I read C.J. Tudor (in her debut novel, The Chalk Man) I was utterly compelled to review it, though I didn’t start reading it with that in mind. I was simply so floored by her crisp characterization and ability to weave deftly back and forth between various plot points and timelines that I simply had to. She put me flat on my ass with her skill and her voice.
I’ve tried to score ARC’s of her books since then with no success…until now. I was giddy to receive the opportunity, as I’ve become an unabashed fan of her work. She’s continued to get better with each passing novel, and that’s a bold statement for a lady who started with the high bar of The Chalk Man. Upon finding out the novel was a supernatural crime thriller about a vampire murder in an isolated Alaska town, set in a world where vampires are an endangered species hated by society at large, I kind of started to dance about a bit.
This was going to be good.
In the isolated town of Deadhart, Alaska, a young man is murdered by what has to be a vampire (or “vampyr”). The townsfolk are in an uproar and demand a cull of the local colony that lives on the outskirts of town. Enter Barbara Atkins, a homicide detective with a Ph.D. in forensic vampire anthropology. Her job is to find out if it truly was one of the colony that killed Marcus Anderson and potentially to decide if a cull (i.e. extermination) of the colony is called for. Tensions are high in Deadhart. Barbara isn’t your average detective- she’s a bit of a bleeding heart who doesn’t want to see the colony hurt unless it’s legitimately necessary. The citizens of Deadhart want justice the old-fashioned way; they want some more vampire heads to go on the wall of the local watering hole. But as Barbara peels back the layers of this bloody onion, she finds that there are a slew of dark secrets and hidden relationships in the town of Deadhart, Alaska. What’s a conscientious homicide detective to do in the face of a growing mob and rampant bigotry?
The Gathering opens with a high level of tension and its foot on the gas, never letting up while stacking up revelations and further murders like cordwood stacked against the freezing Alaska nights. There’s plenty of social commentary at work, too, and that’s a damn good thing. The use of vampires as “the other” (as opposed to people of color, LGBTQ+, indigenous, or what have you) is no less potent for all its fantastic nature. Tudor makes the premise immediately believable. It’s not subtle, and that’s perfectly okay. There’s a message you’re supposed to get that mirrors the tense times we live in in 2024.
Meanwhile, there’s an interlude that keeps cutting in concerning “the girl”, a captive in an unknown time and place. This adds another mystery to keep you hooked that counterpoints the main mystery succinctly. Just who that girl actually is…and what it means for the present and future of the story…is stunning sh*t. It’s the kind of thing that makes you tell yourself afterward, “I should have seen it coming!”
C.J. Tudor knows how to weave together a nest of characters both large and small with a deft hand, mingling multiple secrets and dark desires with aplomb. The Gathering is one of those books that lead you down one path only to bring you out somewhere completely unexpected in the best way possible. Barbara Atkins is a simple protagonist that you warm up to instantly for precisely that reason- she’s a good person with straightforward motivations born out of a tragic past and a deep well of personal pain.
Where the book really shines, however, is in the aforementioned social subtext just under the surface of Deadhart, Alaska. I’m not from anywhere near Alaska; actually, I’m from South Carolina. But I instantly recognized this town. The human-vampire relations in Deadhart are instantly relatable to our own tumultuous times. Vampires as second-class citizens is a brilliant twist that gives you a reason to feel differently about bloodsuckers, and that’s exceedingly rare for a vampire novel. Tudor knows how to make you look at things differently while being just heavy-handed enough. That’s a rare talent. The Gathering is a one-of-a-kind vampire novel/police procedural that challenges your preconceived notions and makes you question where you would fall in that scenario.
How’s that for something juicy to sink your teeth into?
]]>Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by Columbia Pictures
Directed by Gil Kenan
Written by Gil Kenan, Jason Reitman, and Ivan Reitman
2024, 115 minutes, Rated PG-13
Released March 22nd, 2024
Starring:
Mckenna Grace as Phoebe Spengler
Finn Wolfhard as Trevor Spengler
Carrie Coon as Callie Spengler
Paul Rudd as Gary Grooberson
Logan Kim as Podcast
Celeste O'Connor as Lucky
Kumail Nanjiani as Nadeem Razmaadi
Emily Alyn Lind as Melody
James Acaster as Lars Pinfield
Patton Oswalt as Hubert Wartzki
Bill Murray as Peter Venkman
Dan Aykroyd as Ray Stantz
Ernie Hudson as Winston Zeddemore
Annie Potts as Janine Melnitz
William Atherton as Mayor Walter Peck
Review:
When I reviewed Ghostbusters: Afterlife for Horror DNA back in 2021, I was over the moon happy with the results of Jason Reitman’s loving homage to what his father created (which also happens to be one of the seminal films of my childhood). And I still stand by that assessment- that flick is a load of fun. My hope for the inevitable sequel was that they would double down on the things that made that one work. I mean, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Right?
Now that I’ve spent a couple more hours of my life with the Spenglers and the O.G. Ghostbusters again, I’m happy to report that they did indeed double down while upping the ante on the threat and going back home to good old New York City. After all, it just feels more like a proper Ghostbusters flick when you have the firehouse, the city skyline, the library, and all those other landmarks.
It’s been two years since everything that happened at the “dirt farm” in Oklahoma, and the Spenglers are now operating (and living) out of the original firehouse as the new Ghostbusters. And business is booming! They still have the same problems, sure- namely the notorious Ghostbusters hater and arch nemesis, Mayor Walter Peck (William Atherton; Ghostbusters). His prying gets Phoebe (Mckenna Grace; The Handmaid’s Tale) effectively grounded from busting ghosts as she’s still a minor. Then a deadly ancient artifact that contains an evil god falls into the hands of Ray Stantz (Dan Aykroyd; Saturday Night Live, Ghostbusters), and all hell literally breaks loose. The Ghostbusters will need all hands on deck, including Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray; What About Bob?, Ghostbusters), Winston Zeddemore (Ernie Hudson; The Crow, Ghostbusters), and even Janine (Annie Potts; Pretty in Pink, Ghostbusters) to stop Garraka from freezing the city in a pall of fear.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire does all the things that its predecessor in the “new arc” did with a little more shine on it. It also doesn’t shy away from making the nuclear family of the Spenglers the center of the story and letting the nostalgia take a backseat (albeit, a very small one) to the family drama. When you’re going into sequel territory after three decades, you need to establish new characters and give people a reason to give a damn about them to avoid being nothing but nostalgic fan service. New director Gil Kenan (Poltergeist 2015) walks the line between a completely new thing and fan service film with a fairly deft hand. The writing is smart enough to know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em as it pertains to hitting you with callbacks and homages.
Paul Rudd is still America’s sweetheart, and Mckenna Grace is the essence of Egon’s granddaughter through and through. The loaded cast adds show-stealing performances from comedians Patton Oswalt (Ratatouille) as library historian Hubert Wartzki and Kumail Nanjiani (The Big Sick) as “Firemaster” Nadeem Razmaadi. Both get a clutch of great lines to spit, and the laughs don’t stop there- Dr. Venkman busts out his pasta bowl hat, so you know sh*t is gonna get stupid in the funniest way possible. The packed theater I was in roared with applause and laughter on numerous occasions.
The mythology is expanded with the introduction of Winston’s new Ghostbusters research team and super-sized containment unit. This introduced some tasty new ghosts to chew on, including one called “The Possessor” which serves as a clever plot device. Again, smart writing. Emily Alyn Lind’s (Doctor Sleep) turn as the ghost Melody even introduces us to something new in the Ghostbusters universe: a Ghostbuster befriending a ghost instead of busting it.
Minor early pacing issues aside, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is a sequel that understands the giant shoes that it has to fill while also understanding that you have to stand on your own two feet, big shoes or no big shoes. It’s fun and funny, and at the end of the day you can’t be a proper Ghostbusters sequel without being both of those things.
Also, Slimer is back. So, yeah…we win.
Grade:
4.0 out of 5.0 stars
]]>Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by Charybdis Pictures
Directed by Tony Olmos
Written by Brian Patrick Butler
2024, 89 minutes, Not Rated
Currently screening in the festival circuit
Starring:
Kimberly Weinberger as Rosie Perkins
Brian Patrick Butler as Liz Topham-Myrtle
Nick Young as Tank
Matthew Rhodes as Gary
Pierce Wallace as Howie Stumpp
Aleksander D'Avignon as Jason
Aimee La Joie as Kate Myrtle
Randy Davidson as Sheriff Hunting
Review:
If you’d told me that there was such a thing as satirical fairy tale horror, I’d initially have laughed in your face. Not because those elements don’t mix, mind you- it’s just that it would be exceedingly difficult to pull it off with any degree of logic or continuity.
I stand (mostly) corrected.
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea is a film conceived during the pandemic that revolves around a small apartment block in the nowhere town of Hemet, California (a very real place) and its tyrannical landlord, Liz Topham-Myrtle (played in heavy old-age makeup drag by the film’s writer, Brian Patrick Butler). In the film, a varied group of tenants suffers under the double yoke of Liz’s whims and financial despair while suffering through a pandemic of their own: across the country, “psycho-active bath salts” have become all the rage, and leg-eating zombies are roaming the streets and countryside. Everyone is between the proverbial rock and a hard place, and Liz is taking full advantage of the social crisis to fatten her pocketbook.
Make no mistake about it, this is a film that’s clearly a product of that awful time we all suffered during the pandemic. It’s another slice of biting satire from Brian Patrick Butler (Friend of the World) that delivers a heavily Trumpian lead villain with the quick-witted, sharp-tongued, and utterly amoral Liz. The protagonist (and only other strongly developed character) is Rosie Perkins (Kimberly Weinberger), an everyday type of woman who’s just trying to get by while dealing with the same financial woes and a deadbeat, abusive musician boyfriend. She soon becomes the main target of Liz’s attacks as the self-contained community devolves into madness and murder. Rosie is no pushover, however, and Liz will soon find that she’s met her match.
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea is one mean mother of an absurdly surrealistic fairy tale set in a world that’s a little too close to the tone of the one we live in today despite the fact that it’s so damn far out there. The characters are archetypes, especially redneck sh*thead Tank (Nick Young; Friend of the World) in another wicked turn. This dude just nails menacing and amoral. The writer-in-drag really is the centerpiece of the film, though; you vacillate between laughing like a loony at Liz’s antics while wanting to smash her face in with a hammer simply because she’s so manipulative and despicable. And those one-liners? Sweet baby Jesus on a tricycle, there’s some quotable sh*t going down in this movie.
Yeah, it’s allegorical as hell all right. The lens you’re viewing through is warped and wavery, but the message is loud and clear and not very encouraging. To that end, it’s an unbelievably relatable film even when it goes viciously off the rails in the third act as it becomes more of a straight horror film. The SFX are definitely on a shoestring budget, but that’s okay…we’re not here for big production value. Instead, we’re here for that surreal satire that Brian Patrick Butler’s writing is becoming known for. I’d love to see what he could do with more resources at his disposal with a creative blade that sharp.
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea won’t be everyone’s cup of tea for sure, but for those of us who understand just how f*cked we are in America in 2024 they’ll find a spirit and razor-sharp wit that is hard to deny. I’m on board for more.
Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea recently screened at the 13th Annual Oceanside International Film Festival.
Grade:
3.5 out of 5.0 stars
]]>Dune: Part Two Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures
Directed by Denis Villeneuve
Written by Denis Villeneuve, Jon Spaihts, and Frank Herbert
2024, 166 minutes, Rated PG-13
Released on March 1st, 2024
Starring:
Timothée Chalamet as Paul Atreides
Zendaya as Chani
Rebecca Ferguson as Lady Jessica
Javier Bardem as Stilgar
Josh Brolin as Gurney Halleck
Austin Butler as Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen
Florence Pugh as Princess Irulan
Dave Bautista as Beast Rabban Harkonnen
Christopher Walken as Emperor Shaddam IV
Léa Seydoux as Lady Margot Fenring
Stellan Skarsgård as Baron Vladimir Harkonnen
Charlotte Rampling as Reverend Mother Mohiam
Review:
It’s hard to know where to begin when reviewing Dune: Part Two. As an admitted fanboy of the original six tales that make up the “Dune-iverse” (see what I did there?), I approached Dune: Part One with great trepidation. I knew Denis Villeneuve was a master visual filmmaker, but I wondered if he could take the themes at the core of Dune and strike the proper tone. That first iteration eased my mind and left me quite satisfied, so much so that I became giddy for the second film. Fear is the mind-killer, after all, and my fear fell away.
Dune: Part Two ups the ante in so many ways that it’s almost dizzying. The technical mastery that won Oscars for the first film is somehow improved as we get a deep look into not only Paul Atreides’ (Timothée Chalamet; Call Me By Your Name) ascent into messianic status but also the monochromatic hell of Giedi Prime and the lush environs of the homeworld of Emperor Shaddam IV (Christopher Walken; The Dead Zone). The battles are exponentially more massive. The sandworms are more plentiful. The themes of religious fanaticism and the true nature of power are deeply delved.
I mean, it’s a sequel…you’re supposed to raise the stakes, right?
The story picks up quite literally right where it left off with Paul, Chani (Zendaya; Spiderman: Homecoming), and the Fremen transporting the body of the bested Jamis (Babs Olusanmokun; Star Trek: Strange New Worlds) back to Sietch Tabr. Meanwhile, the bloodthirsty and barbarically cruel Harkonnens are stepping up their attacks on the various Fremen strongholds after the slaughter of House Atreides. Stilgar (Javier Bardem; No Country For Old Men) is enamored with Paul and believes him to be the Lisan Al Gaib (“Voice From the Outer World”), the messiah foretold in the Bene Gesserit prophecies. Paul’s mother, Lady Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson; Doctor Sleep), is feeding that fire with zealous fervor. Paul is reluctant to take that step, as his visions show him a holy war stretching across the galaxy as a result. Still, Paul will have his revenge on Baron Harkonnen (Stellan Skarsgård; Good Will Hunting) and the Emperor for wiping out his family at all costs, and it’s damn hard to avoid the slippery slope of godhood when your own personal holy war checks all the boxes craftily set forth by the sect of witches pulling the strings.
From the opening shot, you know you’re in for another visual feast. Villeneuve has such a great eye for what the readers of Dune saw in their mind’s eye; it’s a little eerie. Dune: Part Two is damn near overloaded with killer shots, breathtaking panoramas, and moments that are felt as much as seen. The scope and execution of the entire affair…and the battle scenes in particular…elevate Dune: Part Two that at the very least rivals (and in my humble opinion tops) Peter Jackson’s work in the Lord of the Rings series.
Yeah, I said it. I just got downright blasphemous in this bad boy. I’ll double down before all is said and done, too.
The utterly loaded ensemble cast hits all the right notes. Dave Bautista continues to impress with his range and adaptability. Zendaya grows on me with every role I see her in; she brings both a vulnerability and a toughness to Chani that just feels right. Rebecca Ferguson should (and probably will) win a Best Supporting Actor for her role as Lady Jessica Atreides; her devolution from loving mother to Reverend Mother is chilling to watch and reminds you that the blade of religious fanaticism has more than just two edges. And what more can you say about what Timothée Chalamet brings to the film’s key role? Like Paul Muad’dib himself, Chalamet grows into the part by degrees until, in the end, he leaves you floored with his power and ferocity.
I loved absolutely every damn thing about the Harkonnen side of things. The black and white hell of Giedi Prime, simmering under its black sun, is everything my heart wanted from the source material. Stellan Skarsgård continues to prove he’s a master of the craft as the Baron, looking like something out of Jabba the Hut’s nightmares. Then there’s Feyd-Rautha (Austin Butler; Elvis), who steals every scene that he’s in with serious villainous intensity. I mean, the dude chews up scenes like I chew up a three-meat BBQ plate from Terry Black’s when I’m stoned out of my mind. It’s a thing of beauty to watch. His birthday “celebration” is worth the price of admission alone.
The word “epic” is thrown around far too much in Hollywood, but what Denis Villeneuve has done here is give us just that. Dune: Part Two is a spiritual and structural cross between The Empire Strikes Back and The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. The core themes are richly mined. Everything about Dune: Part Two is indeed epic- visuals, story/plotting, execution, and intent. It’s a masterful piece of filmmaking that reminds us all that a big-budget tentpole of a movie can have true artistry and a deeper meaning at its core.
In other words, Frank Herbert would be damn proud, and Peter Jackson is busy rubbing the red spot on his cheek. Is that a hot take? Hear me well…I used The Voice when I said it.
Grade:
5.0 out of 5.0 stars
]]>16 Bits Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by Tubi and Ocular Migraine
Written and Directed by Aaron Mento
2023, 82 minutes, Not Rated
Released on June 24th, 2023
Starring:
Kevin Caliber as Waxx Waster
Jeremiah Benjamin as Phillip
Scott Butler as Flynn
Raymond Vinsik Williams as Doug
D.M. Harrison as Bobby
Charles Chudabala as Kevin
Elissa Dowling as Alice
Emily Dahm as Nina
Review:
One of the joys of being a film reviewer/critic/journalist/whatever the hell you want to call it is discovering a “new” filmmaker who speaks your language. It’s a true joy. When I ran across Aaron Mento on Twitter (I refuse to call it X) I was highly intrigued by the things people were saying about his 2018 film, Ugly Sweater Party. People said it was worse than some of Troma’s sleaziest and cheapest, and I thought to myself, “Challenge accepted”.
I’m glad I took that challenge. Now it’s time for his newest flick, 16 Bits.
Phillip (Jeremiah Benjamin; The Love Witch) is the proverbial lonely loser. One look at him tells you everything you need to know- pot belly, wild and unkempt hair, a bit of a mouth breather. You get the idea. It’s his birthday, though, and everyone deserves to have a good time on their birthday. Phillip has invited four of his friends over for an old-school night of 16-bit video games, pizza, and cake. Well, one game in particular: Hazard Waster, an ultra-violent cross between Double Dragon and Grand Theft Auto. All of his friends bail on him, however, leaving him alone with his video game and a pizza loaded with magic mushrooms delivered by sweet, well-meaning Kevin (Charles Chudabala; The Gallows Act II). Before you can say tripping balls, Phillip’s hero (and the game’s main character) Waxx Waster (Kevin Caliber; Supergirl) appears in the flesh, ready to kill some bad guys and help pathetic Phillip have a great birthday. Seriously, what could go wrong in that scenario?
16 Bits is, first and foremost, is the kind of movie that will put off virtually everyone who considers themselves cool or cultured. It’s true indie filmmaking with a ludicrous premise, surprising heart, and even a bit of a message about spending too much of your life living in the Land of Make Believe. Not that there’s a deep moral message here or anything, but if you read between the lines a bit and take Phillip’s story at face value you’ll find some serious truths. It’s also quite subversive, as what starts off and plays mostly as a sight-gag-laden, visually trippy display of high-spirited (and borderline nonsensical) hilarity ends up going dark as f*ck…like, really dark. Be prepared.
However, this one plays for laughs and violence and succeeds with aplomb on both points. In 16 Bits you’ll find the most disturbingly oversized and hairy nipples ever put to screen, a hot dog vendor pedaling innuendo with the food, a video game hero with an endless supply of one-liners, the saddest roleplaying hotel party ever put to film, and shockingly good video game animations. I mean, when you can revel in lines like “Every badass needs a pair of fingerless gloves!” and “Every time I get all contorted, I just queef everywhere!”, you should thank the gods that someone out there truly gets your degenerate (but surprisingly intelligent and thoughtful) sense of humor.
16 Bits looks low budget, for sure, and the SFX are minimal and somewhat limited to animations and blood splatter with crunchy sound effects, but let’s face it- you’re not here for high-brow art house, now are you? I thought not. There is a pretty cool claymation bit involving the controller that I got a big kick out of, though. Besides, the film is carried by a fantastic cast who pull off their parts with just enough seriousness to stay far away from the range of campy/parody, thereby giving the humor more depth and relatability.
Both Kevin Caliber’s performance as Waxx Waster and Jeremiah Benjamin’s chops as the cringe-worthy Phillip turn 16 Bits into something that should easily become a cult classic. Waxx Waster starts off as genuinely likable before his penchant for one-trick-pony levels of violence shows his true colors. And Phillip’s gradual realization of who he truly is? Well, it’ll sober you up a bit. Jeremiah Benjamin crushes it as that guy that we all know. You’ll feel his pain before it’s all said and done.
16 Bits is a wonderful little slice of irreverent, subversive, f*cked up fun that’s occasionally crass and silly but never out and out stupid or cheap. It’s a smarter flick than you might expect given the premise. That aforementioned message about living in the real world (at least occasionally) isn’t subtle, and Phillip’s journey to realization is more potent for it. Don’t worry, though- you can still bust this one out on your friend’s with confidence that they won’t be expecting it.
I call that a win.
Grade:
4.0 out of 5.0 stars
Ugly Sweater Party Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by Ocular Migraine Productions / Amazon Prime
Written and Directed by Aaron Mento
2018, 81 minutes, Not Rated
Released on November 23, 2018
Starring:
Sean Whalen as Declan Rains
Felissa Rose as Mrs. Mandix
Hunter Johnson as Jody
Charles Chudabala as Cliff
Emily Dahm as Samantha
Tiffani Fest as Susan
Marv Blauvelt as Counselor Mandix
Jared Degado as Roberto
Brad Potts as Detective Brolin
Jennifer Nangle as Sister Nipps
Review:
It’s been a long ass time since I got my sleaze on. I’m a card-carrying citizen of Tromaville from back in the day, and there has been a noticeable lack of low-brow blasphemous filth in my viewing habits for some time now. It feels like the right time to rectify that, so I couldn’t resist the chatter I heard about writer/director Aaron Mento’s 2018 Christmas horror-comedy, Ugly Sweater Party. With pull quotes such as “The sacrilege quotient of this film is off the charts…choose wisely” (HK and Cult Flim News) and “Proceed with extreme caution…what the f*ck is this movie?!” (Flickering Myth), I felt as if my name were being called from out of the void of cheerfully bad filmmaking. Hence, it’s time to exorcise the last of the lingering holiday spirit and see what all the fuss is about.
Let’s just say I feel like the most depraved parts of my soul have been refilled. Also, how did I miss this in 2018?
Declan Rains (Sean Whalen; The People Under the Stairs) is a serial killer who kills four families on Christmas (children definitely included) while wearing one seriously ugly Satanic sweater. He’s captured by Detective Brolin (Brad Potts; Butt Boy) and promptly has his brains bashed in. Unfortunately, his ugly sweater soaks up his blood and becomes a possessed item. Cut to ten years later, and brain-dead buddies Jody (Hunter Johnson; Verotika) and Cliff (Charles Chudabala; The Gallows: Act II) are preparing to attend an ugly sweater party at a remote wooded camp being thrown by two slu*tty fraternal twin sisters, Samantha (Emily Dahm; Death House) and Susan (Tiffani Fest; Circus of the Dead). These morons take possession of the sweater (convenient, right?) and join the party. Unbeknownst to them, the twins are born again, and this is a bible camp known as Camp Mandix (get it?!). Cliff becomes possessed by the sweater, and all manner of bloodshed and blasphemy ensue.
Trust me, that’s really all the synopsis you need.
The worst thing about a film that’s made with this much manic energy and blatant disregard for anything resembling good taste is that it’s virtually impossible to review in any traditional sense of the word. The best thing about a film that goes this far into “what in the actual f*ck?!” territory is that you can just sit back and enjoy it for exactly what it is- inspired lunacy and pure indie heart. Ugly Sweater Party is absolutely as tasteless as advertised…and that’s exactly what I was looking for!
The star power of the film is bolstered by meaty roles from genre legend Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp, A Nun’s Curse) and the aforementioned Sean Whalen. Rose leans into the part of oversexed camp counselor Mrs. Mandix for all it’s worth; even a bag of hotdog buns isn’t safe from her gyrations and rubbings (because weiners, get it?!). For that matter, everyone in the cast goes pretty f*cking hard in the paint with what their roles had to offer in a collection of loony-ass characters that mainly serve as fodder for a splattery smorgasbord of practical SFX gags and surprisingly competent CGI.
As I said, I’m not going to analyze the script structure and evaluate the writing because it seems the film is meant to be a bit of a madcap mess. Ugly Sweater Party isn’t a Troma film, but it might as well be. The spirit of that wonderful company is alive and well here (and clearly a heavy influence). It’s one of those films where everything is thrown against the wall to see what sticks. Most of it does, too. There’s castration complete with erotic blood drinking from the stump, graphic ball shaving, sh*t spraying, exploding heads, one seriously lethal death ray, a precognitive witch, a perverted priest, a full-on dance number that’s so cringe it becomes a thing of twisted beauty, a cheeseball theme song, gratuitous heavy metal cut scenes, and more blasphemy than you can shake an upside down cross at. It’s a lot to handle, but let’s face it- if you’ve gotten this far into the review, then it’s right up your trashy little alley.
Ugly Sweater Party is my favorite kind of film- unpretentious, unapologetic, and completely unhinged. There are no f*cks given here. Aaron Mento set out to make a movie that revels in its batsh*t craziness, and he succeeded. It’s the perfect film for that impromptu Christmas hangout where you and your peeps are more than a little lit and looking for some true WTF entertainment. Does that make it a “Christmas classic”? I’ll leave that up to you.
I can say with certainty that you won’t walk away from this movie in the same shape you walked in. It’ll change you. Make of that what you will.
Grade:
4.5 out of 5.0 stars
]]>Soul Mates Short Film Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released on Vimeo by Breaking the Cycle Films
Directed by Michelle Tomlinson
Written by Jim Sea
2023, 12 minutes, Not Rated
Hitting the film festival circuit in 2024
Starring:
Jim Sea as Sean
Kris Isom as Abby
Sydney Carvill as Poppy
Joshua C. Horton as Nigel
Ian A. Hudson as Jaime
Otgadahe Whitman-Fox as Barista
Terry Futschik as Nurse
Review:
You wouldn’t think it with all the horror and gore I consume on a regular basis, but I’m secretly a sucker for a well-crafted romance. After all, I’ve been with my soul mate for twenty-nine years come this Groundhog’s Day. I know what it means to have found that one person that gets you like no one else ever could. I live it every day. I feel it. You dig?
Romance works best when it hits on the real and the personal truths of long-time love, and Soul Mates does just that in a natural and honest way that will immediately have you thinking it might be time for a tissue or three. Sean and Abby are an older couple who are staring down the barrel of some awful news- Sean has six months to live. They sit over a charcuterie and some wine to discuss what to do with those six months. More importantly, they discuss how they’ll know each other in the next life. Will they know each other in the next life? Are they true soul mates?
Soul Mates approaches its subject matter from a plain and honest perspective; this isn’t fancy camera tricks and an overblown score. This is two people, each the center of the other’s universe, who are trying to process a life-altering finality. There’s an implied sweetness and familiarity that says simply, “We can’t change it. Let’s make the most of it.” That’s a wonderful thing to see handled so deftly by the two leads. It never feels contrived or corny, and that is so hard to do when it comes to romance filmmaking. Real life isn’t a Hallmark movie.
The short film’s second act is the payoff, and it’s equally emotional (though a tad more storybook). And that’s okay! It’s the ending that you are hoping for. These two actors have a palpable chemistry that shines through from the moment their eyes lock. You want the happy ending here; you want to believe that true soul mates exist. I, for one, have never doubted this. I found mine in 1995 and never looked back. Films like Soul Mates show you there’s hope to be had, and that’s a beautiful thing.
True love doesn’t die. It carries on.
]]>Malediction Short Film Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Written and Directed by Ali Chappell
2023, 15 minutes, Not Rated
Released in 2024
Starring:
Ali Chappell as Codi
Arielle Edwards as Creature
Ambrose Mullin as Dad
Tilly Davies as Young Codi
Bee Dawley as Voice of Lane
Fran Pinkerton as Woman
Serena Sernoskie as Young Lane
Diana Chappell as Nurse 1
Krissy Greenaway as Nurse 2
Review:
Malediction: (noun) A curse; execration
Addiction is a curse. Many of you reading this will feel the truth of this statement deep in your soul; even if you haven’t personally had to fight the demon, you probably know someone who has. It’s the proverbial gift that keeps on giving, a black and noxious package wrapped in a foul design that you simply can’t shake despite your best efforts.
After watching Malediction, I may need to check on Ali Chappell and see if she needs any support.
Codi (Ali Chappell; Necropolis: Legion) is staring down the horrors of heroin detox. She’s isolated in her family home with only the ghosts of her dead father and her childhood memories for company. It’s going to be a rough time, and she damn well knows it…but Codi isn’t prepared for just how much of a true demon addiction is. The cleaner she gets, the more the demon holds sway over her. Is she losing her mind? Is getting clean really worth it?
Malediction is the perfect title for this work. Addiction is a curse that never goes completely away. It merely allows you moments of brief reprieve before popping up again to remind you that you’ll never be fully yourself ever again. In a mere fifteen minutes, Ali Chappell builds a sense of dread with a deft hand and an unflinching eye for the pukey, uncomfortable ugliness that is withdrawal and detox. It’s a spot-on visual metaphor for this particularly lonely hell.
The demon itself (played by Arielle Edwards; Parasite Lady) is the apotheosis of darkness, swallowing the light around and firing it back out of pale, whitish-gray eyes. The creature design is simple yet stark. It works in skillful contrast to the natural sunlight streaming in through the windows of Codi’s empty, ghostly residence. Paired with musical cues that heighten the intensity, the effect is jarring. You feel Codi’s fear and the danger that she is in.
The cast is solid all-around and the creature/demon is menacing as all hell, but make no mistake about it- this is a one-woman show. Ali Chappell turns in a nuanced and sublime performance. In between bouts of graphic vomiting, she’s a bundle of nerves and pain in a role that doesn’t offer much in the way of vocalization or exposition to let you know where she’s at mentally. Chappell conveys the horror of the curse of addiction with aplomb.
Malediction is a strong effort for a fledgling writer and director who’s coming into her own before our eyes. I can’t wait to see what she does next, be it in front of or behind the camera.
]]>With A Blighted Touch Book Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Published by BHC Press
Written by J. Todd Kingrea
2023, 254 pages, Fiction
Published on October 24th, 2023
Review:
There are very few hooks in literature that work as well as bad stuff happening to ordinary people. It’s a time-tested deal, after all. What if the bad luck you’d been living your life with was the result of a horror that touched you when you were still a kid, a horror that has cursed your entire hometown with a literal blight that poisons everything it touches?
That’s the idea behind my initial foray into the mind of J. Todd Kingrea, and I’m here for it. Kit McNeil is a talented (but not necessarily accomplished) guitarist with a monkey on his back and a past full of ghosts. He’s returning to Scarburn County, Tennessee, and his hometown of Black Rock after the death of his mother and his unceremonious firing from yet another band. Things are as bleak as he was anticipating- the blight is everywhere and a freakish number of his high school classmates have died bizarre deaths. Then there’s the Dunley clan to contend with. Soon, Kit finds himself at the center of an investigation into multiple local disappearances while fighting off the Dunley threat and dealing with the strained relationship with his father. And who the hell are these freaky, pale children?
With A Blighted Touch is a loaded novel, full of ancient mystery, small-town despair, and Lovecraftian horror at the heart of it all. Kingrea’s style puts the human element first, however, grounding the characters in true emotion and reality. Then the horror happens naturally. Kit is a protagonist that you can get behind and empathize with; we’ve all made our fair share of piss-poor decisions while our hearts are more or less in the right place.
Kingrea’s game is complete- the novel is paced well, the relationships develop naturally, and the action scenes are highly competent..there’s even an epistolary break for exposition, and I’m a sucker for epistolary exposition! The finale is appropriately horrific, full of both terror and heroism. And I must award style points for the restraint shown in not busting into a sex scene when it would have been natural but probably would have ended up feeling gratuitous. Bravo!
Kit’s curse and how he handles it are the beating heart of this story full of relatable characters and unimaginable nightmare creatures. With A Blighted Touch takes a working formula and enhances it with a deft hand and an understanding of where the true horror lies- in the place where you are the curse and only ultimate courage can break it. The result is a page-turner that has you immersed before you realize it, and isn’t that really the sweet spot?
]]>Bloodthirst Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by Mahal Empire
Directed by Michael Su
Written by Massimiliano Cerchi and Adrian Milnes
2023, 88 minutes, Rated R
Released on October 31st, 2023
Starring:
Costas Mandylor as John Shepard
Tara Reid as the Vampire Queen
Robert LaSardo as the Vampire Master
Wesley Cannon as the Ultimate Vampire Master
Sarah French as Brooke Thompson
Elissa Dowling as Elena Thompson
William “Bill” Connor as Daddy Thompson
Rich R. Rendon as Rico
Johnny Huang as Charlie
Review:
The good folks at Mahal Empire always make it fun and entertaining while burning the indie torch brightly. They’re back at it again, this time with a post-apocalyptic vampire western…and if the phrase “post-apocalyptic vampire western” doesn’t get you at least a little bit excited, then you may be on the wrong website. I’m just saying.
John Shepard (Costas Mandylor; Saw franchise, Death Count) is a badass vampire hunter in danger of becoming one after an encounter with the Vampire Master (Robert LaSardo; Bridge of the Doomed). It’s a race against time in a world populated by two warring vampire factions and a rapidly shrinking human population (which is of course bad news for the vampires as well). Shepard must battle the combined forces of the Vampire Master and the Vampire Queen (Tara Reid; American Pie franchise, Art of the Dead) while contending with a mercenary army of unscrupulous living humans and a pair of sisters who spend their time riding around in a souped-up dune buggy and killing vampires with garlic-laced shotgun shells. Looming over all this is the Ultimate Vampire Master (Wesley Cannon; Night of the Tommyknockers) and his master plan for total control.
There’s certainly a lot going on in Bloodthirst from the standpoint of diverging and intersecting storylines, and not every issue is resolved or even explained all that clearly. However, it’s quite forgivable as the journey of John Shepard is portrayed with grit and resolve by Costas Mandylor which proves what a criminally underrated talent he is. His natural charm shines through, and this is fully his film. That’s not to say that the other actors aren’t turning in killer performances. Tara Reid is more inspired here than she’s been in some time, showing a penchant for playing the villain that I didn’t know she had. Mandylor’s John Shepard character is complimented nicely by his motorcycle-riding sidekick, Rico (Rich R. Rendon; Attack of the Unknown), and Rico’s sidekick, Charlie (Johnny Huang; Bridge of the Doomed), who provides the comic relief.
The vampires are your general pale humans in black robes, but they can walk in the daylight. The Vampire Master and the Vampire Queen are a couple of serious baddies, though, and Robert LaSardo reminds us of just how much quiet menace he possesses. The blood is plentiful but not overly gory, though these vampires are definitely messy eaters! The Ultimate Vampire Master is a different beast altogether; he appears as more bat than human in a highly competent SFX makeup job.
The stark desert setting may be the main star of the film, ultimately. Bloodthirst is a beautifully shot film that maximizes the cinematic and production value from its excellent shooting locations. It doesn’t feel like a low-budget film. Layering the theme of humanity versus nihilism in that stark post-apocalyptic setting makes for a hell of a ride that’s loaded with elevated performances.
But really, it all comes back to my original query: who doesn’t love a good post-apocalyptic vampire western? That’s rhetorical, of course.
Grade:
4.0 out of 5.0 stars
]]>Totally Killer Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by Blumhouse / Amazon Prime
Directed by Nahnatchka Khan
Written by David Matalon, Sasha Perl-Raver, and Jen D’Angelo
2023, 106 minutes, Rated R
Released on Amazon Prime on October 6th, 2023
Starring:
Kiernan Shipka as Jamie Hughes
Julie Bowen as Pam Hughes
Kelcey Mawema as Amelia Creston
Olivia Holt as Pam Miller
Liana Liberato as Tiffany Clark
Stephi Chin-Salvo as Marisa Song
Anna Diaz as Heather Hernandez
Charlie Gillespie as Teen Blake Hughes
Lochlyn Munro as Adult Blake Hughes
Troy Leigh-Anne Johnson as Teen Lauren Creston
Kimberly Huie as Adult Lauren Creston
Jonathan Potts as Chris Dubasage
Randall Park as Sheriff Dennis Lim
Review:
One of the trickiest subgenres of film to get right is the time travel movie. There are just so many places that you can hit a snag and say, “But what happens if…” That, in turn, completely takes you out of your suspension of disbelief. Time travel films work best when there’s a bit of a an irreverent and playful flavor to them and don’t take themselves too seriously. I mean, sometimes you gotta just roll with it.
Now, mix that formula with a slasher flick featuring a killer in a slick mask brandishing a big, shiny knife. The result of that wonderful union is Blumhouse’s latest offering, Totally Killer. A blend of homages to Back to the Future and Scream, Totally Killer stays firmly on the side of comedy more than horror, though the violence is admirably aggressive when it needs to be and the comedy is on-point at all times.
Jamie Hughes (Kiernan Shipka; Mad Men) has lived her life with a deeply overprotective mother (Julie Bowen; Modern Family) under the shadow of the Sweet Sixteen Killer. The town of Vernon has also lived under that shadow for thirty-five years- the Sweet Sixteen Killer (and his three-victim murder spree) is the town’s claim to fame. The mask is still worn every Halloween by scores of kids. There’s even an obsessive podcast all about the crime hosted by Chris Dubasage (Jonathan Potts; The Strain), one of those touched by the murders in 1987. After Jamie’s mother is brutally murdered (stabbed sixteen times) by a returned Sweet Sixteen Killer on Halloween night, Jamie uses her best friend Amelia’s (Kelcey Mawema; A Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting) time machine to travel back to 1987 and stop the murders from ever taking place. Jamie isn’t prepared for what she finds back in the Reagan era- her mother is a certifiable mean girl with a whole clique of followers at her heels and the social norms are shocking to her 2023 sensibilities. Armed with the knowledge of where and how it all happens, can Jamie stop the killer from claiming his three victims (who also happen to be her future mother’s besties) and thereby stop him from killing her mother thirty-five years later? And will she be able to deal with all the problematic behavior and politically incorrect banter that 1987 has to offer?
Casting is critical in a period piece (God, am I really that old?!), and Totally Killer nails all of its casting choices. Young Sally Draper from Mad Men has grown up, and her heroic and socially conscious heart is the driving force in the film. The entire cast is excellent (especially Stephi Chin-Salvo as the vapid and orally inclined Marisa), but it’s Kiernan Shipka who is a cut above.
Yes, the pun is intended, thank you very much.
The time spent in 1987 is a hoot, and thankfully the movie spends most of its time there, only occasionally flashing back over to 2023 for the “how are we going to get her home?” part of the story. The set design and costumes are note perfect. I couldn’t stop smiling at the (admittedly) on the nose archetypes of “the Mollys” (Pam and her friends all idolize and imitate Molly Ringwald). Furthermore, Julie is shocked by the careless and carefree hom*ophobia, misogyny, and general lack of safety standards of 1987. If you lived in this time as I did, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Teenage Randy, in particular, and his constant references to his penis are right on the money; every group of friends had THAT guy who just had to make everything about his dick. Sad but true.
Totally Killer is smartly written with a social conscience and a real understanding of just how shockingly different 1987 is from 2023. I wasn’t expecting that much of a socially conscious undertone, but it’s not at all off-putting. Instead, it serves to enhance the humor and makes for some cripplingly cringe worthy situations and bad jokes. If you were count up the number of times Jamie says some version of “You can’t say that!” and turn it into a drinking game, you’d be heartily sh*tfaced.
All in all, Totally Killer is a howl of a good time that gets all the stereotypes painfully right while observing the slasher rules and keeping the violence and danger rolling along at a brisk pace that felt much more like a classic ninety-minute horror comedy than the actual one-hundred and six minutes it is. It’s definitely horror light, so to speak, but would nonetheless make for a fun weekend watch in this spooky season.
Grade:
4 out of 5 stars
]]>#Bossbabe Short Film Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released at Fantasia Film Festival
Written and Directed by Kassy Gascho
2023, 12 minutes, Not Rated
Released on August 8th, 2023
Starring:
Katelyn Doyle as Sofi
Pooja Bhandari as Bobbi
Daisy Lankstead as Lexi
Selena Goosney as Dani
Heather Ngo as Purple Bevlon Rep
Alexandra Bell as Red Bevlon Rep
Review:
For the creep factor, it’s hard to beat a good, old-fashioned cult. All that mindless devotion and hero worship of those existing further up the food chain than you? sh*t, man….it’s some heady stuff. Do you know what’s even creepier than a cult? A pyramid marketing scheme. Those things are cults on steroids, fueled by greed and anchored by false promises. Yes, I’m talking to you Avon and Amway weirdos. Deal with it.
#Bossbabe is a twelve-minute neon nightmare of just this sort. Sofi (Katelyn Doyle; Sisterhood) is desperate as hell to move up in Bevlon, a #girlboss pyramid scheme (think youthful, Barbie-tinged Avon and you’re on the right track). She throws a poorly attended recruitment party that’s essentially hijacked by Lexi (Daisy Lankstead), a “gold level” Bevlon girl who is Queen sh*t of Turd Mountain. Jealousy soon gives way to tragedy of a sort, and there’s now a very stylish corpse to deal with. This raises a serious question for the pyramid scheme set. What’s more important- your friendship or your downline?
I’m a sucker for good satire, and #Bosssbabe reminded me of an Amway meeting I went to just after high school at the request of my (thankfully temporarily) brainwashed older brother if said meeting were on a very Day-Glo acid trip. There’s much being said about influencer culture, pyramid schemes, and cults at large. That’s a lot to tackle head-on, but Kassy Gascho’s vicious short film does so with aplomb. The horror is less of the visceral variety and more of the “damn, this is disturbing” variety. Truth and honesty have a lot to do with that- these people really do exist!
The performances are note-perfect and keep the satire humming in brightly colored glory. Katelyn Doyle’s character exudes vapid greed and fame whorishness. The pacing keeps it fun and horribly light in the face of the real horror. There’s not much flare to the cinematography, but it’s certainly competent enough. Therein lies my main issue with #Bossbabe"- there’s more than just a short film there with some fleshed out writing and character development. I hope to see it go further somewhere down the road; the Heathers influence is pretty hard to miss and made me grin freely.
#Bossbabe is a strong short film with plenty to say about what has become a social norm in the day and age of social influencers who have millions of followers and have done nothing to earn them. It’s biting satire that promises so much more than it delivers, and it delivers pretty damn hard as it is. Take twelve minutes to marvel at the garish insanity. You’re probably going to want some of those silly sunglasses to boot!
Grade:
4.0 out of 5.0 stars
]]>What Doesn’t Kill You Book Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Published by Timber Ghost Press
Written by Ken Brosky
2023, 265 pages, Fiction
Published on July 3rd, 2023
Review:
What do you get when you cross a dead-end town, a hellacious blizzard, a killer monster with a ginormous beehive on her head, and a diverse, richly layered cast of characters? The answer is the latest from Ken Brosky (The Beyond, The Grimm Chronicles), a tale that starts off with an ominous mystery and rapidly escalates into full-on, batsh*t madness with the rapidity and intensity of, well, a beehive stirred to anger by a foolish kid looking for some honey.
Valerie and Danny Miller are the kids their mom never really wanted, living in a nowhere town called Seven Sisters where the only real employment is the grain mill and the only activity is work followed by drinking, rinse and repeat. It’s a sleepy burg slowly rotting with malaise until the matronly and enigmatic Emma Rose shows back up to the town she grew up in with some unholy cargo and an axe to grind. Before long, the monster is loose and everyone in the town of Seven Sisters will have to ask themselves how badly they want to live and if they’re willing to fight and kill to make that happen.
Brosky is a patient writer who knows how to lay the mystery out and then meter out the shocks one by one until you’re blasting through the pages. He also has a penchant for action scenes, which are the Achilles heel of many authors. What Doesn’t Kill You is the kind of book that gives you multilayered characters by the bushel and a monster with a mythology that you want to dig in and find out more about. It’s also a viciously paced, horror movie-styled tale with motivations often overriding logic and pushing the story forward. I’m also awarding style points for a subtle but deeply appreciated nod to Ash Williams, everybody’s favorite protagonist from the Evil Dead series. Valerie Miller has more than a bit in common with S-Mart’s model employee.
The underlying themes of addiction and social desolation keep you right there with the blizzard-besieged residents of Seven Sisters. What Doesn’t Kill You has a hell of a lot to say about those themes while asking not only how badly the characters want to live but how badly they want to succeed and escape the dead-end hell of Seven Sisters. There are tons of folks in small towns who can relate to that, and the heavy-handedness of the message serves rather than takes away from the overall experience.
And the imagery…oh boy, the imagery. The Queen, with her hardened and pale body and beehive head full of demonic black bees, is the stuff of nightmares. What the bees do with their victims and what happens to the church in their wake, well, I won’t ruin it for you. It's very much out of the darkest realms of Dungeons and Dragons’ most depraved creations, and I really appreciate that. Topping it off with an antagonist and monster with surprisingly human (dare I say natural) motivations makes for a rich experience that you aren’t likely to forget any time soon.
Brosky also sticks the landing while leaving the door open for a tale that has more to say. All in all, What Doesn’t Kill You is a banger of a novel that will have you tearing ass through its two-hundred and sixty-five pages before seeing what else the author has to offer.
In other words, mission accomplished!
Grade:
4.5 out of 5.0 stars
]]>Confirmed Sightings: A Triple Cryptid Creature Feature Book Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Published by Salt Heart Press
With novellas from Bridget D. Brave, P.L. McMillan, and Ryan Marie Ketterer
2023, 263 pages, Fiction
Published on June 1st, 2023
Review:
Ah, cryptids. Who doesn’t love them, really? Whether it’s Bigfoot, Chupacabra, the Jersey Devil, or one of the dozens and dozens of other abnormal denizens of the dark, every state has its own “monsters” emblazoned on tee shirts and leering from the signs of seedy roadside attractions. It’s a beautiful thing, really. I’m no cryptid expert by any stretch of the imagination, but the three authors in Confirmed Sightings: A Triple Cryptid Creature Feature certainly are. Naturally, I had to see what they had to say on the subject.
Spoiler alert: I’m glad I did. Not only was I entertained, but I learned about some others that will almost certainly be going into my next D&D campaign.
“A Piasa for Christmas” by Bridget D. Brave: The first in the trio of novellas is the story of Kaycie, a makeup blogger/influencer who has fallen in love with her town’s local legend, the Piasa. The proto-bird is a demigod of sorts with a voracious appetite and a particular set of rules for love, but Kaycie is just so smitten that, you know, it’s all good. She documents her atypical relationship for all her followers, and the disastrous results are often hilarious with a horror that builds slowly at first but more rapidly with each page like a powerful diesel engine. The casual irreverence of Bridget D. Brave’s prose is funny and refreshing. Kaycie is a protagonist pulled straight from a social media story; her speech and tone are perfect. The sense of foreboding grows as you realize Kaycie is in deep, mortal trouble. “A Piasa for Christmas” is quick and efficient while being a hell of a lot of fun, and while the ending is predictable it’s the kind of predictable that you were hoping for.
“eyeofmoth.exe” by P.L. McMillan: The middle story of the trio is the nail-biting show stealer, a sci-fi tale about the crew of the CSR Piasa (wink wink) and their journey to find out what’s gone awry on the Space Station Goremades. Heavily inspired by Event Horizon (never a bad thing), P.L. McMillan’s yarn gives us everything one could hope for in a horror/sci-fi hybrid- a killer Mothman that predicts the bleakest of futures while killing indiscriminately, insane worshippers, a sprawling space station, claustrophobic trips through maintenance hatches, and plenty of gore. The surprise here is the humanity in both the two main protagonists and the monster itself. It’ll tug at your heartstrings a wee bit before actually pulling them out, and I call that a recipe for interstellar awesomeness! I’ll not soon forget this one.
“Once Upon a Time In Turu” by Ryan Marie Ketterer: The final story is a smorgasbord of cryptid madness, a hardboiled detective tale set in a walled city called Turu inhabited by all manner of cryptids. There’s a Sasquatch with a keen eye (Policefoot Orli), a Jersey Devil who’s part of the local mafia (Malse), a werewolf with ulterior motives (Jessica), a spoiled rich Jackalope with a nose for deadly trouble (Kevan Ares), his regal Mngwa friend (Draak), and his dear Ahool friend (Jahat). There are also merwomen with loose morals and a hunting club that’s searching for (you guessed it) the mythical Piasa. Throw in some seriously sinister Mothmen who apparently just want to f*ck up everyone in sight, and you’ve got a twisting mystery that did not end at all where I thought it would while jumping around like a Tarantino flick. It’s fast-paced and more fun than you can shake a tentacle at.
Confirmed Sightings: A Triple Cryptid Creature Feature is a lot of fun, folks. Each novella has its own vibe both genre-wise and in tone while adhering to a common theme and a clear love for the Piasa. All three are worthy of your time and will probably have you on Google digging up a little more info. Speaking of, I have to go back to planning that next campaign….
Grade:
4.5 out of 5.0 stars
]]>Talk to Me Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by A24 Films
Directed by Danny Philippou and Michael Philippou
Written by Bill Hinzman, Daley Pearson, and Danny Philppou
2023, 94 minutes, Rated R
Released on July 28th, 2023
Starring:
Sophia Wilde as Mia
Joe Bird as Riley
Alexandra Jensen as Jade
Otis Dhanji as Daniel
Zoe Terakes as Hayley
Chris Alosio as Joss
Miranda Otto as Sue
Marcus Johnson as Max
Alexandria Steffensen as Rhea
Review:
It’s no secret that I’m a fan of A24 films. Hell, most of us are- they’ve released a slew of gorgeous, relevant, often subversive horror films that always leave an impression even when they’re not your cup of tea. You could argue they’re the hottest name out there, and you’d be right. So, as I sat in a jam-packed screening last night at the Angelika in sweltering hot Dallas, I was overjoyed to discover a film that rivals Hereditary, Midsommar, and even Pearl.
Yeah, I said it. Listen up.
The film centers on Mia (newcomer Sophia Wilde in her first feature film), a damaged young lady who’s recently lost her mother to suicide. Her father, Max (Marcus Johnson; The Very Excellent Mr. Dundee), is a shell of himself. Her best friend, Jade (Alexandra Jensen; Beat), is extremely supportive, as is her younger brother, Riley (Joe Bird; Rabbit). Still, she’s on the outside looking in as the “sad girl” who brings everyone down. At a house party, she puts herself out there and participates in an internet challenge where guests shake hands with the embalmed hand of a powerful medium and say “Talk to me”; they soon see the dead up close and personal. By invoking “I let you in”, they give the spirit access to their body…but only for 90 seconds lest they decide they want to stay permanently. During this, everyone is (naturally) filming with their phones and plastering it all over the internet. However, Mia passes the 90-second mark and opens the door wide. What follows is a tale of grief, possession, and why social media challenges are often an extremely bad idea.
Talk to Me cold opens with a shockingly violent scene at a seemingly unrelated house party, and it simply never lets up. This is not a jump-scare type of flick. Instead, you’re given more of a view of the dead than you really want along with some repeated genuinely freaky scenes of possession that will leave you wondering why anyone would do this.
That’s not to say that suspending disbelief is difficult here. Mia’s descent into grief-driven decisions is straight out of Pet Sematary, and the film artfully presses that theme of being willing to do anything to get back the ones you love…or at least speak to them one last time for answers. These are teenagers, so naturally, a host of poor decisions are made that drive the narrative forward. The culture of internet challenges and social media attention-whoring is on full display here, and the Philippou brothers understand it inherently and bring ultimate believability to the proceedings (the two are famous for the RackaRacka channel on YouTube).
Talk to Me is a wickedly smart movie that understands its audience as well as the world we live in in 2023. Relevant and surprisingly poignant for a balls-out possession flick, Talk to Me takes that Pet Sematary level of grief and constructs an afterlife that’s eerily reminiscent of the nightmare fuel that is equal parts Hell in What Dreams May Come and “The Further” in Insidious. Counterbalanced against the high-energy stupidity of teen horror, what you get is a movie that aims to scare the f*ck out of you with an abyss that feels a little too real and often ventures into Evil Dead levels of violence and shock (i.e. what happens to Riley) And it succeeds with aplomb. I’m seriously putting this into my personal top ten of favorite theater experiences of all time; that audience was wrecked on numerous occasions. It’s just so damn visceral.
On the technical side, it’s an utterly gorgeous film where the lighting and sound design do much of the heavy lifting…at least until the viciously effective SFX work kicks you in the teeth. Sophia Wilde is nothing short of a revelation, and the rest of the cast is virtually as good. There are no bad performances, and everyone gets their time to shine. It’s gory. It’s jarring as hell. It’s funny when it needs to be. There is no lag in the lean and mean 94-minute runtime. I didn’t realize I was wringing my hands for the duration until the dude next to me pointed it out during the credits.
In the midst of a renaissance of horror, Talk to Me is a standout that won’t soon be forgotten. I don’t know about you, but for me, there’s nothing better than a movie that you simply have to tell everyone else about. I haven’t shut up yet, and I’m not likely to stop any time soon. Talk to Me is an anomaly- a possession film that’s unlike anything else you’ve seen in the subgenre.
So go ahead…put that hand in yours and let whomever (or whatever) is talking to you in. Just make damn sure you blow out that candle before the minute and a half has passed.
]]>The Devil’s Left Hand Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by Amazon
Written and Directed by Harley Wallen
2023, 98 minutes, Not Rated
Out now on Amazon Video, Vudu, and Redbox
Starring:
Laurene Landon as Mother Stann
Yan Birch as Father Stann
Kris Reilly as Richie Stann
Kaiti Wallen as Cassidy Stann
Aphrodite Nikolovski as Miss Vesna
Harley Wallen as Zebula
Angelina Danielle Cama as Tiffany
Stacy Saunders as Natalie
Francisco Posada as Cameron
Chevonne Wilson as Nurse Katherine
Calhoun Koenig as Agramon
Review:
Nothing says housewarming party quite like a séance, complete with mystical medium and ensuing shenanigans. Horror would have you believe that séances are both commonplace and perfectly safe, but we all know that’s bullsh*t, don’t we? Director Harley Wallen (Ash and Bone) sure knows that, and he uses it to spin a tale of Satan’s left hand of destruction with his newest film, The Devil’s Left Hand.
Richie Stann (Kris Reilly; Agramon’s Gate) and his wife, Cassidy (Kaiti Wallen; Tale of Tails) are having a housewarming party with some good friends. The evening’s entertainment will be a séance, intended to go off as a light and touching John Edwards kind of thing. Instead, their party is crashed by a powerful demon known as Agramon (Calhoun Koenig; Werewolf Island). Agramon is no common, garden variety demon, however- she’s the left hand of Satan himself as well as a shapeshifting mimic. Now the partygoers are being hunted one by one in a bid for their very souls.
The Devil’s Left Hand is admittedly a walking trope in setup and design. Harley Wallen is perfectly fine with that; instead, he’s going all-in on the characterization and humanization of the leads with a tale of childhood trauma and restless spirits. It’s an overall effective approach to a film that was released previously under the title Agramon’s Gate in 2019. I’ve not seen that film, but the trailer makes it apparent that The Devil’s Left Hand is a leaner, meaner version of its predecessor.
Outside of the four leads, though, the rest of the characters are underdeveloped plot devices and fodder for the demon. It’s not a cardinal sin, pardon the pun, as Richie’s backstory is the anchor that holds everything in place and gives The Devil’s Left Hand its punch. The aforementioned spiritual hoe-down is the cold open…then we’re off and running. The pacing stays intense throughout, providing believability and solid dramatic moments.
The Devil’s Left Hand is not a special effects gorefest by any stretch of the imagination. Plenty of CGI enhancement is skillfully utilized to bring the shapeshifting demon to life while what little SFX makeup on display is simply competent. The sound design is a standout, with various eerie noises and whispers causing investigation with a variety of frankly silly weapons when you consider the intruder is a high-ranking demon. I mean, seriously- who keeps a gun safe in their kitchen or continually goes after supernatural entities with a baseball bat? But I digress…
Agramon is a highlight, especially in the later stages of the film when it finally goes full horror and the assault is on. I wasn’t expecting a small Chinese girl to be the left hand of the Devil; style points on the subversive choice that eschews the overutilized ripoff of the look of the demon from Insidious. I truly appreciate that.
The Devil’s Left Hand isn’t a perfect film, but it is a solidly executed little tale of demonic horror that’s on the lighter side of the subgenre while being more rich in characterization and humanity than your average possession film. In that respect, it reminded me quite a bit of the criminally underrated film, The Evil Down the Street. Interpersonal drama and demonic horror do go together like peanut butter and banana, after all. It’s about time we all figured that out.
Grade:
3.0 out of 5.0 stars
]]>Beau Is Afraid Movie Review
Written by Stuart D. Monroe
Released by A24
Written and Directed by Ari Aster
2023, 179 minutes, Rated R
Released on April 21st, 2023
Starring:
Joaquin Phoenix as Beau Wassermann
Patti LuPone as Mona Wassermann
Amy Ryan as Grace
Nathan Lane as Roger
Denis Ménochet as Jeeves
Kylie Rogers as Toni
Parker Posey as Elaine Bray
Stephen McKinley Henderson as Therapist
Julian Richings as Strange Man
Bill Hader as UPS Guy
Review:
I used to think I was a “mama’s boy”. Raised by a single mother (and various other women), my life was run by women growing up. I’ve also been legitimately happily married (with an amazing daughter) for twenty-eight years. So, yeah…I know a thing or two about all things motherly. It took Ari Aster’s new film, Beau Is Afraid, to show me that I didn’t know a goddamn thing.
Beau Wassermann (Joaquin Phoenix; Joker) is the ultimate mama’s boy, a shrinking and cringing agoraphobe with an on-call therapist (Stephen McKinley Henderson; Lincoln) living in a slum studio apartment in what appears to be the worst neighborhood anywhere in the damn world. It’s the eve of his father’s death anniversary, and he is preparing to take a long overdue visit to his mother, Mona (Patti LuPone; Witness). It’s only six hours away, after all. It should be a simple task, but Beau isn’t a simple man. His trouble starts with keys stolen right out of his front door and soon progresses to being stabbed and hit by a truck, and that’s all before he can even get out of his own neighborhood! When his mother dies one of the nuttiest deaths this side of Looney Tunes, Beau realizes he has no choice but to face all his fears and go home to Mom one last time.
Beau Is Afraid is easily Ari Aster’s most divisive film to date, and it bears the marks of its predecessors (Midsommar, Hereditary) with pride. You also know that despite its absurdity (and it goes to some utterly bonkers places and scenarios), it’s a deeply personal film with many Mommy issues. I dare say there’s never been a more Oedipal film made; at least, I can’t think of one. I hope Ari Aster’s mother didn’t lock him in an attic in his childhood, but at this point, it seems clear that it’s at least a distinct possibility. To say there’s a lot to unpack would be the understatement of the year.
And I’m here for it. Every frame makes its mark on you in some way, be it with stellar cinematography, zany visual effects, unflinching violence highlighted by first-rate SFX, surprising emotional depth, or killer performances. Joaquin Phoenix is a mumbling, screaming, fleeing mess in the best way possible, and the ensemble cast all hit it hard, providing memorable characters and moments throughout the three-hour runtime.
Yes, I said three hours.
I’d say three hours is too long (and it is), but I honestly can’t think of what you’d cut. It’s all so singularly, disturbingly gorgeous that it makes the brutal truths and uncomfortable situations all the more palatable. It also doesn’t hurt that Beau Is Afraid is, at times, riotously funny. It’s absurdity piled onto absurdity that doesn’t feel half as absurd as it should thanks to some universal themes and dark truths left festering in your head. Equal parts drama, comedy, and horror, Beau Is Afraid deals with mental illness and maternal codependency in one of the most uniquely insane ways you’re likely to ever see.
Seriously, you can tell Ari Aster has thought about this film for a long, long time.
Beau Is Afraid is a psychosexual mindf*ck laden with complex and often uncomfortable themes, a film will surely fall into the “love it or hate it” category. The responses and opinions I overheard in the mostly packed IMAX theater had no in-between; it was all or nothing. That’s what happens when going this hard in the paint, though. The responses will be understandably extreme.
If you need to be sold further, just know that there is a sex scene and an attic monster straight out of a Troma film. Mixing high art with a significant budget and a Tromatic sensibility? Winner winner, chicken dinner.
Grade:
5.0 out of 5.0 stars
]]>